Three little words. Seems simple enough, right? But the truth is, who really wants the truth? Over the last few years I have actually had several conversations with different people about this. People ask this all the time, but RARELY want your real answer. I’ve learned several things about this. I have found #1 It’s best to just say I’m good. #2 The danger of telling the truth is the response you open yourself up to get. There have been rare times where I have been completely honest. Whether it was a moment of frustration, sadness, tired, pain, or whatever. When this has been admitted, I first get a look of, “Oh, I’m sorry.” I don’t tell you for you to be sorry for me. The next thing that usually happens is the person tries to help me find some “silver lining”. THAT is the part that annoys the CRAP out of me. I am not the kind of person to be down in the dumps ALL day EVERY day. So, for me to be having “a moment”, it is just that. A MOMENT. You happen to ask when I am still in THE MOMENT. I always hate when I say, “It’s been one of those days” and someone says, “Well, you are so blessed because…” I totally know I’m blessed in SO many ways. Just because someone is having a “moment” doesn’t mean that those other things are forgotten.
The reason I’m going on a tangent is mostly for myself. I’m eight months pregnant and people keep asking me how I am doing… What do I say?! What I really want to say is… I’m uncomfortable. It hurts to stand, it hurts to walk, it hurts to sit down, and I can’t get comfortable laying down. I pee ALL the time, and all hours through the night. I am sleep deprived. I still have 3 other children to tend to and I’m EXHAUSTED. That’s what I WANT to say. Can I really say that?? HE** NO!!!
Why? Why, you say? Because. I don’t want the different reactions. I don’t want the pity. Truth is, I’m NOT experiencing something that has NEVER been experienced by others. This is part of the world of being pregnant. Then there are those who are unable to have children and I have been told that I’m just lucky to have this experience. I do feel completely blessed to have this experience. In truth, I LOVE being pregnant, but it doesn’t mean that it’s all pleasant and all a bed of roses. It is a miracle that a woman’s body can do what it does while pregnant and I truly am SO very very grateful. But it doesn’t take away how truly miserable and achy my body feels.
So, I do think that in the end it’s always best to just tell people you are great, fine, or good. There are few close friends in a persons’ life that will truly want the real answer. By saying you are good, fine, or great, you aren’t being fake because the truth is that life probably is ultimately good, fine, or great! It’s just that you are having a “moment”!
I did a little experiment saying I was horrible. A few people would just go on and others would realize what I had said. It was kind of fun
Chami,
I completely agree with you! Some people really don’t care what your response is, and the others find pity. Only your true friends will share your ups and downs, and be there throughout! I love you, and hope you’re having a great day!